Critical Response to "Come One Come All" by Alex-Celina

Alex, this is a very beautiful and intriguing poem. The language gives it the jumbled feel of a circus, yet meanwhile there’s a darkness looming over it. Very beautiful. As for some more technical things, the line “The men and women of the show did so much else than perform feats and tricks” could be worked on a little bit. It seems as though the line is more for moving along the story, than for lyrical aesthetics, however, it should contain both because I noticed it seeing as it is a major turning point in the poem. I realize this is hard considering the meter, but if you wanted to keep it a simple line, make the idea of revealing something about the performers even more simple and blunt, creating a haunting effect. I do however like the “feats and tricks”; I suggest you keep that in there.
I like how you take a subject so magical and fantastic and hit it with splashes of reality like the line “they would play the songs of home – of Spain, of Sweden, of Utah” and “Hidden from paying eyes, the people under the grease-paint and top-hats, stage lights, leotards and glitter, lived in trailers cracked with rust.” You play with an interesting idea by describing such a mystical place and bringing concrete and almost humorous light to the scene. The end lines “and whisper tunes in French and Gaelic over tinny sounds of mandolins and banjos under the deflated Big Top and ice-white moonlight” are magical and haunting, tying in all the different tones of the poem.

Critical Response #1

Christina Ledesma
Advanced Poetry Writing
Professor Barnstone
Critical Response
February 19, 2009
Critical Response to Casualties by Alex Johnson
I really enjoyed the poem “Casualties” by Alex Johnson; he had great descriptive images throughout his poem. My favorite lines are the first two lines “A perfect ripple of flesh in the night that shakes off insecurity / Lip, enamel and breath encircle a tongue and speak of perfect victims.” These two lines paint a vision of two lovers together in the night. His word choice is very sensual and in the second line I can vision the characteristics of a woman. I think Alex did a good job following the structure of a Ghazal poem. He repeats the word perfect in the first line of every stanza and also includes his name in the last line of the poem. Some of the lines I think Alex should work on would be line 6, 8, and 10. I think he could describe these lines in a better way where his reader can actually visualize what he is trying to say. I also think he should choose another verb to describe the “immaculate coat” in stanza three. Overall, I think Alex’s poem is very sensual and sexual and appeals to his reader through his descriptive language. I also like how he plays with word “victimitude” in the last stanza, which is not a word but becomes a word in his poem. Like many other poets Alex is creating a word that compliments his poem and appeals to his reader.