PERMISSIONS: To view the blog, post on it, and comment on posts, you must be invited. I will send you an email invitation to join the blog, and then you must follow the instructions to join up and begin posting. You can't join the blog without first creating a Google account.

POSTING: Post your poems by clicking "New Post" at the top right of the page. Paste your poem into the window.

LABELING: Then label the post with the assignment name (i.e., "confessional poem," "sonnet," etc.), your name (i.e., "Tony Barnstone," etc.), and the week (i.e., "week one," "week two," but not "week 1"--spell out your numbers). If you post a poem in week two that is due in week three, label it "week three." When you begin to type in a label, the program will fill it in for you, so your post will be labeled with the rest of the poems in the same category.

COMMENTING: Afterwards, you can "comment" on the posts of your classmates. Post "group one" and "group two" one-page critical responses as "comments" on the posted poems, but also print out copies for me and for the poet and give them to us in class.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Fried Plaintains-Celina

She knew that love had found her, shivering scared,
because clandestinely it seized her veins.
Like prodded clams, her heart’s brute clench holds tight.
Their sacred shields only held for so long,
Then gradually their case sighed broad and calm
Accepting bitter-sweet and watery fill.
She’s saturated with the stuff of jewels
Opened her waxy hill and trench of palm
To universe and particle alike.
Driven and fierce, her pearl sought out his ear.
The night he peeled and chopped and scattered bits
Popping and bubbly grease held his response;
From cast-iron, fried plantains were cooled and smiling.
They filled her nostrils with sweet-steam offerings
Presented like a delicate newborn.
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1 comment:

  1. Tony BarnstoneMarch 10, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    Line one works well, with the elision. Line two seems rough, because starts with anapest:
    x x l x l x x l x l
    Line 3 works.
    Line 4: x l x l l x l x l x (a few trochaic inversions, one at the end of the line -- SO long, not so LONG, is how I read it, so it's a bit rough, but at least has 5 beats.
    Line 6: nice elision (watery fill)
    Line 8: nice opening trochaic sub.
    Line 10 nice elision
    3rd to last line, a bit messed up:

    x l l x l l x x l x l x
    from CAST Iron, FRIED PLANtains were COOLED and SMIling, is how I read it, at least.
    Nest line:
    they FILLED her NOStrils with SWEET steam OFFerINGS (you have a nice demotion, and an anapest substition--it's okay).
    Last line: Be aware that NEWborn puts the accent on the ninth line, not tenth.

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