PERMISSIONS: To view the blog, post on it, and comment on posts, you must be invited. I will send you an email invitation to join the blog, and then you must follow the instructions to join up and begin posting. You can't join the blog without first creating a Google account.

POSTING: Post your poems by clicking "New Post" at the top right of the page. Paste your poem into the window.

LABELING: Then label the post with the assignment name (i.e., "confessional poem," "sonnet," etc.), your name (i.e., "Tony Barnstone," etc.), and the week (i.e., "week one," "week two," but not "week 1"--spell out your numbers). If you post a poem in week two that is due in week three, label it "week three." When you begin to type in a label, the program will fill it in for you, so your post will be labeled with the rest of the poems in the same category.

COMMENTING: Afterwards, you can "comment" on the posts of your classmates. Post "group one" and "group two" one-page critical responses as "comments" on the posted poems, but also print out copies for me and for the poet and give them to us in class.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Pantoum

She stalks and prowls deep
In the heart of the forest
A vile, seducing power
Leaking out her golden bulbs

In the heart of the forest
She treads lightly, her evil
Leaking out her golden bulbs
Calling our attention

She treads lightly, her evil-
Nothing but gorgeous nature
Calling our attention,
And she's licking her lips in response

Nothing but gorgeous nature
In the throbbing heart of the forest
And she's licking her lips in response
A vile, seducing power
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1 comment:

  1. CelinaMay 12, 2009 at 10:27 PM

    A very intense and powerful opening (not just because it has the word power in it). Right from the start it demands a certain curiosity from the reader, intriguing them to read on. It sets up an expectation for something wild to emerge somewhere down the line in the poem. However, the poem loses some of that initial power when nothing is really explained. I like the cryptic nature of the poem and I think that can definitely stay in there, but I feel as though something needs to happen or a statement needs to be made about it. A statement is attempted by the line “Nothing but gorgeous nature” which to me implies a sort of sarcasm with a hidden message concerning her “evil.” However, I think you should elaborate on that statement and flesh it out a little bit so the reader can understand why exactly the flower is “evil” and has a “vile, seducing power.”
    There is also a bit of confusion with who “she” is. Upon first reading, I assumed she was a flower from the “golden bulbs.” Then, as the relationship between “she” and the narrators emerged, I thought the flower might be a metaphor for a woman, especially because she has so much personality. If the flower is supposed to be a metaphor for some woman, explain that further. It may also help that metaphor to explain who “we” are from “calling our attention.” Upon reading the poem a couple more times, I then thought “she” was in fact some sort of animal, which I pulled from the line “And she’s licking her lips in response.” This line threw me off, naturally, as flowers don’t have lips. (Unless it’s an orchid, then there’s a sort of lip-like extension, and if it IS and orchid then it’s also a woman). Just clarify that a bit, and I think running with either one of those would be really interesting. Overall, criticisms aside, I think the poem is really powerful and beautiful with crisp images.

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